Horror Flicks a-c

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AFTER MIDNIGHT (1989)

D/W Ken & Jim Wheat

College professor teaches a class on fear but gets his curriculum altered after causing a jock to pee in his pants from fright. The professor offers extra credit to students who come over to his house to swap terror tales. This highly effective anthology includes stories about a haunted house, girls terrorized by a pack of wild dogs and a phone operator falling victim to a stalker. Great fun.

ALLIGATOR (1980)

D. Lewis Teague W. John Sayles

A baby alligator is flushed into the NY City sewer system, feasts on discarded dog carcasses tainted with steroids and grows to be over 36 feet long. The alligator leaves his subterranean digs to feast on little kids in a swimming pool and gangsters enjoying a backyard B-B-Q. This outrageously entertaining tongue-in-cheek creature feature is a throwback to the monster-on-the-loose pics of the ‘50s. Beware the lousy sequel!

ALONE IN THE DARK (1982)

D/W Jack Sholder

Superior thriller revolves around a pack of psychos who have escaped their asylum lock-up and stalk their new doctor. The harrowing last twenty minutes, when the psychos lay siege on the new doctor’s family, will have you chewing your nails down to the nubs. Great psycho rantings from Jack Palance and Martin Landau and a twisted climax where the TV saves the day! With Donald Pleasance. A thinking-man’s slasher flick.

ANGUISH (1987)

D/W Bigas Luna

A demented mother/son team runs rampant and slaughters young women wholesale. When sonny’s done with his bloody deeds he cuts out and saves his victim’s eyes. Just as they are about to be caught, the camera pulls back and reveals an audience watching the same movie. Then a REAL psycho, who has been murderously influenced by the images on the screen, takes the patrons hostage. Flick earns high marks in the chill category and is at its best when the psycho “zones-out” and talks in time with the characters on the screen. Definitely check it out.

THE BEAST WITHIN (1982)

D. Philippe Mora W. Tom Holland

Story begins with a young couple running off a back road in a small Mississippi town and the new bride being raped by an unseen creature. Seventeen years later the son of that coupling is “called back” to the town to wreck vengeance on a family for a bizarre crime of passion. Film is remembered less for its jumbled plot and more for its outrageous and stomach churning monster effects. These are some of the nastiest effects ever put on screen as Paul Clemons transforms into the disgusting, ill-fated, teenage cicada monster.

THE BEYOND (1981)

D. Lucio Fulci W. Daradano Sacchetti, Giorgio Mariuzzo & Lucio Fulci

Underneath a hotel in Louisiana the dead rise and no one is safe in Fulci’s zombie classic. A surreal, nightmarishly effective flick, the dead boogie and attack our heroes as they attempt to shut the doorways leading to Hell. With eye gouging, throat ripping, spider attacking, acid to the face and a creepy little red-headed undead girl who gets a hole blasted through her skull so wide you could put your fist through it! A must see for genre fanciers. Originally released theatrically in the US as THE SEVEN DOORS OF DEATH.

BLACULA (1972)

D. William Crain W. Joan Torres & Ray Koeing

William Marshall plays an African king cursed by Dracula and imprisoned for a hundred years until he is discovered and awakened by two gay interior decorators. Released from his coffin, Blacula falls for Tina, who resembles his long dead wife, and sets out to make her his new bride. Tina’s sister, a doctor and a detective follow Blacula’s trail, encounter graveyard ghouls and race to save Tina before sunrise. Superior AIP drive-in treat guaranteed to entertain. A sequel, SCREAM, BLACULA, SCREAM, followed.

BLADE (1998)

D. Stephen Norrington W. David Goyer

Terrific, adrenaline-pumping action/gore/vampire/comic book story has vampire hunter Wesley Snipes battling the legions of the blood sucking undead. Superior fight sequences and swordplay as Wes slashes his way to destroy head Vamp in charge, Stephen Dorff, before the vampires acquire the ability to walk in sunlight. Way too many computer effects mare much of the film’s effectiveness.

BLOOD BEACH (1980)

D/W Jeffrey Bloom

Sunbathers on a stretch of California beach fall prey to a carnivorous blob creature living under the sand. Bloom’s characters are all wacky, with the wackiest being Burt Young, who mumbles a lot and makes funny noises. Entertaining story is unclear as to just exactly what the monster is, but highlights include lots of people being sucked under the sand, a girl buried to her neck screaming that something is biting her and then being pulled free to reveal her legs gnawed to a bloody pulp and a sleazy rapist inadvertently feeding the monster his johnson. With John Saxon.

BLOOD SALVAGE (1989)

D. Tucker Johnston W. Ken Sanders & Tucker Johnston

Backwoods bubbas abduct motorists and surgically remove their parts to sell on the black market in their garage/laboratory. A crippled girl whose family is taken apart by the Doctors Bubba is spared when the lead creep-o takes a shining to her. Gory fun. I think I’ve seen a place like this just outside Louisville, Kentucky. With John Saxon and Ray Walston.

BLOODY BIRTHDAY (1980)

D. Ed Hunt W. Barry Pearson & Ed Hunt

Slasher flick involving a trio of terror tykes all born during a solar eclipse. On their tenth birthday the three little darlings go on a killing spree, wiping out teachers, parents, school mates and horn-dogging teenagers. With MTV’s red-haired Julie Brown stripping down only to receive an arrow shot through her head from a peephole in her closet. Slasher fans will enjoy the mayhem inflicted by the bad seeds.

THE BLOODY DEAD (1970)

D. Alfred Vohrer

Klaus Kinski plays twins, one who has just escaped from a mental institution and another who gets mixed up in a murder mystery. A killer is on the loose who uses a medieval glove with retractable blades to gore his victims. The doctor at the local asylum does experiments on human bodies then feeds the remains to a cell full of cannibals he keeps on hand for such duties. With lots groovy bongo music. Should do in a pinch when you need a quick Kinski fix. This version of the film was originally released as CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND and edited by Sam Sherman.

BOBY BAGS (1993)

D. John Carpenter & Tobe Hooper W. Billy Brown & Dan Angel

Anthology hosted by a corpse in a morgue (played by Carpenter) who spins nasty yarns about his toe-tagged neighbors. First tale is your basic slasher story with lots of horror film in-jokes. The second story concerns an “alien” hair club for men. The final tale involves a baseball pitcher who loses his eye in an accident and has it replaced with a haunted orb. Non-demanding fun.

BOGGY CREEK II (1983)

D/W Charles B. Pierce

Southern lensed film concerns an anthropologist (essayed by Pierce) and his team of students traveling into the swamp lands of Texarkana to find proof that the legendary Bigfoot exists. Anyone else would tell you to pass on this hick flick but I’ve always been a sucker for the Boggy Creek/Bigfoot movies. Awesome climax involves a momma Bigfoot coming to fetch junior from a fat hairy Cajun swamp rat who calls everyone “cousin.”

THE BOOGENS (1981)

D. James Conway W. David O’Malley & Bob Hunt

Leech-like cave critters with tentacles topped with razor sharp claws munch on miners and horny young adults when a Colorado silver mine is re-opened. Excellent creature feature that lags a bit in the middle but more than makes up for the slow spots during the harrowing chase through the mine finale. Recommended. With Rebecca Balding.

THE BOOGEYMAN (1980)

D/W Ulli Lommell

Slasher flick fused with a vengeance from beyond the grave plot with a sprinkling of a possession theme delivers plenty of shocks and ends with a supernatural bang. Lacey and Willy are haunted by the spirit of a man Willy killed in self defense when they were kids. The killer’s spirit is released when a mirror that “witnessed” the crime shatters. Each piece of the mirror goes on its own little killing spree. This pic has more on its mind than most slasher flicks and is worth a look. With John Carradine.

BORDELLO OF BLOOD (1996)

D. Gilbert Adler W. A.L. Katx & Gilbert Adler

Vampire prostitutes feed on sleazy outcasts and keep Lilith, a 2,000 year old demon whore, well supplied in the red stuff. Smart ass P.I. Dennis Miller is hired to smirk a lot and find a missing person. He eventually tangles with the ghouls. CGI effects are used to enhance the gore-quo rather than overwhelm it. This pic pretty much killed the TALES FROM THE CRYPT film series, but I enjoyed it. With William Sadler in a cameo.

BRAIN DEAD (1989)

D. Adam Simon W. Charles Beaumont

One heck of a nightmare, rubber-reality tale has Bill Pullman as a doctor who is experimenting with memory enhancement. In his dealings with the company that funds his experiments he soon finds himself in a surreal, alternate reality where everything he knows is twisted around. Then it all changes again, and again. The ending can be interpreted a couple different ways. This is a clever, thought provoking and challenging piece of horror from one of the writers of the original “Twilight Zone” series. Definitely worth your time.

BRIDE OF THE RE-ANIMATOR (1989)

D. Brian Yuzna W. Woody Keith, Rick Fry & Brian Yuzna

This continuation of Herbert West’s exploits in re-animating the dead begins in a third world country in the midst of a civil war, where West and cohort Dan Cain are medics and the dead bodies are plentiful. The boys think they’re ready for bigger and better experiments and West starts to stitch a woman together in which he will insert the heart of Dan’s old girlfriend. Their plans are continually thwarted by Dr. Carl Hill, who proves that even just a talking head can be a pain in the ass. The original RE-ANIMATOR is essential viewing for all modern day horror buffs and although the sequel does not fully measure up to the original, it still offers the series new ideas and deserves a viewing.

BUCKET OF BLOOD (1995)

D. Michael J. McDonald W. Brendan Broderick & Michael J. McDonald

This is one of the few Roger Corman ‘90s remakes that deserves your time. Creepazoid Anthony Michael Hall stars as Walter Paisley (the role made famous in the original by Dick Miller), a sculptor wannabe working in a dingy coffee shop. One night, unable to create, Walter accidentally kills a cat. Covering kitty in plaster of Paris, he pawns it off as an original work of art. Walter is an immediate over-night hit with the snobby coffee shop elite and life size, human “sculptures” soon follow. Surprisingly good, morbid fun. AKA THE DEATH ARTIST.

BURIAL GROUND (1980)

D. Andrea Bianchi W. Piero Gnoli

Plotless gore cavalcade has the dead rise near a country mansion and lay siege on a bunch of dumb, decadent, poorly dubbed Italian actors. The only reason to watch most Italian zombie movies is, of course, to watch people being pulled apart and eaten, and BURIAL GROUND delivers! Zombies use tools to gouge, rip, fillet and tear their victims asunder. But the dead dudes aren’t so busy they can’t stop to pull out some poor SOB’s innards and munch on them in glorious, lunch-churning color close-up. Gore-mutants will eat it up.

BURIAL OF THE RATS (1995)

D. Dan Golden W. S.P. Somtow, Tara McCann & Daniella Purrell

Strange Roger Corman production begins with Dracula author Bram Stoker being abducted by a weird rat cult of amazon women in animal pelts and held prisoner until he completely transcribes their history. Bram falls for one of the rat gals who eventually helps him escape. Once it started, I could not pull my eyes away from it. Filmed in Russia

THE BURNING (1981)

D. Tony Maylam W. Peter Lawrence & Bob Weinstein

Great babes ‘n blades slasher flick has camp caretaker Cropsy (burned to a crisp and disfigured in a prank) returning to Camp Blackfoot to do the dead-teen-boogie on hormonally enslaved geek campers with his giant pruning shears. One outrageous scene has Cropsy sending a whole raft full of horny, loud mouthed teens to that big summer camp in the sky in the space of 37 seconds. Tom Savini’s outstanding make-up and gore effects elevate this one from the glut of run of the mill slash ‘em ups.

CARNOSAUR (1993)

D/W Adam Simon

If Roger Corman produced only one great film in the ‘90s, this gory creature feature is definitely it. Dinosaurs run amuck after escaping the lab of crazed geneticist Diane Ladd. The dinos multiply then munch on the local yokels, including horror movie fave Clint Howard. John Buechler provides the gory monster effects. No crappy-happy CGI effects here. Based on the novel written by Harry Adam Knight. As of this writing there have been two sequels.

CASTLE FREAK (1995)

D. Stuart Gordon W. Dennis Paoli

Possibly the most literate, most character driven monster movie ever made. Credit Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton for bring so much empathy to their characters and bringing them to emotional life. Having just lost their young son in a car accident (in which John caused by drinking and driving- their daughter also lost her sight in the accident), John inherits a castle from a distant relative and he moves his wife and daughter in an attempt to put his family back together. (John is in constantly trying to redeem himself.) During the turmoil, it becomes apparent that something is living within the walls of the castle. This is a challenging, emotional, adult scare ride and recommended to viewers who have grown tired of films geared toward younger audiences. From producer Charles Band.

THE CHILDREN (1980)

D. Max Kalmanowicz W. Carlton Albright & Edward Terry

This is a personal favorite of mine, more so for its freak show quality than for actually being a well made and scary film. Two bumpkins skip out on their end of day safety check at the local nuclear power plant in order to get a jump on Miller Time and fail to report a pressure drop which causes a spill and a toxic cloud. The cloud engulfs a bus load of kids and transforms them into pint-sized, black-eyed nuclear zombies. The toxic cherubs scour the countryside in search of adults they can throw their arms around and charbroil into smoldering hunks of overcooked meat. The only way to kill them is to hack off their hands. If the sight of the loco sheriff carving up little kids with a sword doesn’t turn your stomach, then some of the dialog will. Still, there’s just something about this little no-brainer that makes it enjoyable to watch. The music is by Harry Manfredini, who also scored most of the FRIDAY THE 13TH flicks.

CHOPPING MALL (1986)

D. Jim Wynorski W. Steve Mitchell & Jim Wynorski

This is probably on of Big Jim’s best films, mixing big breasted, overage teens with blood crazed, psychotic robots battling it out after hours at the local mall. Horny mall workers stay the night to have sex and drink on the same night a lightning storm short circuits the mall’s trio of security bots and sends them on a killing rampage. This fast moving sci-fi/horror tale has Kelli Maroney as the teen Ram-bimbo who destroys the bots, half the mall, and lives to talk about it. With Dick Miller. AKA KILLBOTS.

CRAWLERS (1990)

D, Martin Newlin W. Dan Price & Martin Newlin

Carnivorous plants tainted by toxic waste eat a bunch of bad Canadian actors in this slow moving monster pic. Only one guy knows about the killer weeds but he’s the town drunk and no one will believe him. The Sheriff is working for the Plant officials who are dumping the deadly waste causing the mutations. (And for some odd reason, the Sheriff is badly dubbed.) Worth a watch only after you’ve seen every other mutated monster/creature/beastie/meanie flick your drive-in video source offers. (There is an exploding helicopter effect in the film that must be seen to be disbelieved.)