Horror Flicks g-m

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THE GATES OF HELL (1981)

D. Lucio Fulci W. Dardano Sacchetti & Lucio Fulci

A Dunwich priest hangs himself, thus opening a doorway to hell in which the dead use to enter the world of the living. Christopher George, Katherine Maccoll and Robert Sampson race to shut the doorway and return the demons to hell. Fulci’s film is heavy with uneasy atmosphere (although, not particularly scary) but it is the gore that has made this film famous for nearly 20 years. The gore scenes include: zombie brain surgery, one unlucky gal upchucking her entire intestinal tract, the evil priest being stabbed with an atomic cross and a guy named Bob getting a two inch drill press bit punched through his skull, all in gory color close-up. A must see for Fulci fans.

GRADUATION DAY (1981)

D. Herb Freed W. Anne Marisse & Herb Freed

A track meet ends in tragedy when Laura Ramstead collapses dead across the finish line. Days later her sister Anne arrives to investigate. At the same time, an unseen stalker begins to bloodily dispatch the members of the track team one-by-one. (The killer times each death to coincide with how long it took Laura to run herself to death.) This is a good, old fashioned ‘80s slash-o-rama with lots of dumb teens, stupid gory murders and almost more suspects than victims. The sick-o ending packs a pretty good punch. It is also worth noting that this was the first horror film where all the special make-up effects were executed by a female effects artist, Jill Rockow. With Michael Pataki and Christopher George.

GREAT WHITE (1982)

D. Enzo G. Castella W. Mark Princi

One of the greatest JAWS copies ever made. A great white shark terrorizes a small coastal town over the town’s centennial weekend and ferociously eats every windsurfer, TV newsman and politician it can sink its choppers into. Italian made, flick is less concerned with characters and more concerned with carnage. We got: Great White biting the legs off a teenage air-head, Great White biting a TV camera man in half, Great White biting a guy hanging from a helicopter in half and Great White getting Vic Morrow stuck in its teeth. Although sporadically shown in the US in the summer of ’82, Universal sued to keep it out of theaters- if anyone was going to rip-off JAWS they would, with their series sequels. (A shame too, the theater I saw it in was nearly sold out and everyone was screaming and carrying on and having a good time.) It is still unavailable on US video. With James Franciscus.

GRIZZLY (1976)

D. William Girdler W. Harvey Flaxman & David Sheldon

One of the first JAWS rip-offs, Girdler and Company changed the shark to a 18ft, 2000 lb. Grizzly bear running wild in the Georgia woods. Christopher George, Andrew Prine and Richard Jaeckel go after the titular beastie after multiple gory attacks on campers, the complete destruction of an RV park and the gory leg chomping of 7 year-old Bob. A thrilling, horror adventure.

HEARTSTOPPER (1992)

D/W John Russo

Bizarre vampire tale from the co-writer of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD has a colonial doctor unjustly hanged for being a vampire. 200 years later the same area is being cleared for a shopping mall and our hapless doc awakens, but now he really is a vampire. Kevin Kindlin plays the unwitting creeper trying to make sense out of his new life. Tom Savini is the hostile cop hot on the vamp’s trail after the blood sucker accidentally kills a little girl. The vamp runs into a descendant who is a psycho killer and actually wants to become a vampire. It all comes together in a semi-explosive finale that includes some pretty good special effects. Flick has more ideas than budget. Based on Russo’s great novel THE AWAKENING.

GROTESQUE (1987)

D. Joe Tornatore W. Mikel Angel

A college girl and her best friend head to the hills to spend the weekend with the girl’s parents. Dad is a Hollywood effects man and is always full of surprises. A van full of schizoid punks head up to the house to rob the guy. They kill everybody then discover a mutant son that was kept locked up in a secret room. Mutie kills all the punks but two before a posse shows up and shotguns Mutie out of his boots. The two remaining punks are apprehended but bail is made by the effects man’s brother, who is a plastic surgeon. Then there is a twist ending. Then there is another twist ending. Get all that? This is a fast paced 80 minutes that is much like a sleazy carnival’s run-down haunted house attraction. TV prints tack on another twist ending. With Linda Blair and Tab Hunter.

HELLFIRE (1995)

D. David Tausik W. Tara McCann, Beverly Gray & David Hartwell

Decent 19thcentury period piece begins with Baron Oktavia writing his “Devil’s Symphony” by day and killing hookers for inspiration by night. The Baron’s caught, drawn and quartered and his satanic symphony is burned. Years later the Baron’s niece finds a portion of the symphony and hires juicehead/out of work composer Ben Cross to finish it. Needless to say, Cross becomes possessed by the naughty notes and there’s hell to pay by the film’s end.

HIDEOUS! (1994)

D. Charles Band W. Benjamin Carr

Rival freak collectors rage over a four eyed, twin mouthed fetus-thing fished out of the sewer, in one of the collector’s castle home. Unknown to all, the darling pint-sized creeper is alive and resurrects a number of other “biological oddities” from the collection and wreak havoc. The tiny terrors hold a group of bickering, loud mouthed “normal people” hostage and rub them out in different, gory ways. May be a bit offensive to some tastes, Carr’s script never takes itself seriously and Band keeps the story moving at a nice, even pace.

HIGHWAY TO HELL (1990)

D. Ate De Jong W. Brian Helgeland

A young couple on their way to Las Vegas to be married accidentally go through a portal that literally leads them onto a road to Hell. Charlie is forced to go after Hell Cop, a demonic law enforcement officer who has abducted his girl Rachel. This film has more imagination and energy propelling it than most and is one hell of a good thrill ride. Highlights include: Café Dead, Diner of the Dead, a psychotic ice cream man, a road race with 347 VW Bugs, a road crew entirely made up of Andy Warhol, a gang of dead bikers and the final drag race with Hell Cop. Highly enjoyable and highly recommended.

HOPITAL MASSACRE (1982)

D. Boaz Davidson W. Marc Behm

Geekoid Harold sends lovely Susan a Valentine card when they are ten. Susan and her boyfriend David laugh at the card and toss it. Harold rages. David ends up dangling dead from a coat rack. Twenty years later, Susan has turned into the shapely Barbi Benton and is admitted over night to a hospital for unspecified tests. It soon becomes apparent that Susan is the target for a mad stalker since everyone who comes within two feet of her is killed. Semi-effective slasher should be especially harrowing to those with a hospital phobia. AKA X-RAY.

HOUSE OF DEATH (1981)

D. David Nelson W. Paul C. Elliot

PLAYBOY Playmate Susan Kiger and all her backwoods, redneck friends fall prey to a psychotic slayer bent on ridding the world of whores and sinners. They die in spectacular (if not highly improbable) ways- one girl is instantly cleaved in half after the killer pulls her through a stairwell. Not the best of the ‘80s stabfests but not the worst either. The fast forward button will become your best friend during any scene in which the characters attempt to emote. Stick around for the ending, when the fat-assed sheriff shoots the perp in the head with his snub nose and the head explodes DAWN OF THE DEAD style.

HOUSE OF THE DAMNED (1995)

D. Scott Levy W. Brendan Broderick

Roger Corman produced haunted mansion tale has young couple Greg Evigan and Alexandra Paul inheriting a Scottish manse then discovering it’s inhabited by ghosts and ghouls. By film’s end Paul is possessed and turns into the mother/wife from Hell. Cool rat attack on a cleaning lady at the film’s beginning.

HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1980)

D. Barbara Peeters W. Frederick James

Classic, “unofficial” updating of THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON has horny fishmonsteroids (genetically altered, bipedal salmon) attacking the fishing town of Noyo and stealing their women for mating purposes. At 80 minutes, the flick is packed with some of the greatest low-budget monster attack scenes ever filmed, which are sprinkled throughout the running time every six or seven minutes until the big carnival siege at the climax. Doug McClure, Vic Morrow and Ann Turkel band together to fight the fish menace. The incredible monster suits were created by Rob Bottin before he went on to bigger projects like Joe Dante’s THE HOWLING. Not to be missed by creature feature fanatics. AKA MONSTER.

HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP (1995)

D/W Jeff Yonis

Tepid remake uses the same storyline as the original but adds a nest where the horny creatures keep their women. Many scenes from the ’80 version were recycled here to save a few bucks. Still, the monster suits are quite good and there are a few minor surprises along the way. With Robert Carradine.

THE IMP (1988)

D. David DeCoteau W. Sergei Hasenecz

Over aged sorority girls and brain-dead dorm dorks are locked in a bowling alley to steal a trophy but release an evil, jive talking genie instead. Bizarre flick is good for a little T&A, gore and chuckles. With Brinke Stevens and Linnea Quigley. AKA SORORITY GIRLS IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-A-RAMA.

THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN (1977)

D/W William Sachs

Outstanding monster movie has an astronaut returning to Earth after contracting some kind of space funk that causes his skin to melt right off his bones. He also craves human flesh and blood for sustenance and scours the countryside in search of dimwitted victims. The highlights, obviously, are primarily the scenes of the melting dweeb dripping all over the floor and his numerous bloody attacks (including one impressive slo-mo decapitated head falling down a waterfall effect). Effects were by a young Rick Baker. Horror hounds will slurp up this fun freak fest. With Alex Rebar, Michael Alldredge and Rainbeaux Smith.

ISLAND CLAWS (1980)

D. Herman Gardenes

Giant, mutated killer crab attacks an island town and tears people to shreds. Crusty old sea fart Robert Lansing (who knew a little about pest control after this, EMPIRE OF THE ANTS and THE NEST) battles the killer crustacean. Fans of seafood run amuck flicks should enjoy. Also features Barry Nelson and John Furey.

JACK-O (1994)

D. Steve Latshaw W. Patrick Moran

An enjoyable hodgepodge of Fred Olen Ray (who produced) outtakes and clips from a number of unfinished films (including Brinke Stevens in THE COVEN and Cameron Mitchell in ASYLUM OF HORRORS) mixed in with a demon resurrection on Halloween night story. Benefits from a unique monster, a decent cast, a script that moves to the horror stuff and a director who is obviously a horror movie buff. Some of the effects are cheesy, but the entire film offers a nice, low budget, homegrown atmosphere. With Linnea Quigley. AKA JACK-O-LANTERN.

THE JOHNSONS (1995)

D. Rudoph Van Den Berg W. Leon De Winter

Psychotic septuplets are born from an artificial womb and are telepathically controlled by an ancient evil Indian embryo living at the bottom of a nearby lake. Sounds bizarre but this is an outstanding action/horror pic that actually creates characters you come to care about by the film’s end. Lots of EVIL DEAD-style violence during the climactic siege on our heroine. Not to be missed. Based on a screenplay originally written by Roy Frumkes and Rocco Simonelli.

LAKE PLACID (1999)

D. Steve Miner W. David Kelly

Killer croc inhabiting a lake in Maine snacks on divers and Fish & Game Commissioners. Bill Pullman and Bridget Fonda make the scene to hunt the monstrous beast down. Kelly’s tongue-in-cheek script moves at a fast pace with lots of great dialog. Betty White steals the show as a foul talking grandma who wants the croc to eat everybody up. Highlights include a decapitation by hungry croc, a diver bit in two, cow munching and Mexican rules wrestling match between the croc and an irritated Grizzly bear.

LUTHER THE GEEK (1989)

D. Carlton J. Albright W. Whitey Styles

As a child, Luther Watts worked as a sideshow geek, literally biting the heads off chickens and snakes. As a result he went insane. Released from the State Mental Institution for the Terminally Twitchy as an adult, Luther makes a pair of metallic choppers and goes about putting the bite on defenseless old people and naked, hormonally enslaved teenagers. Flick actually has an oddball, low budget charm. Director Albright also co-wrote the toxic zombie kid flick THE CHILDREN. With Edward Terry.

MADMAN (1981)

D. Joe Giannone

At a camp for gifted kids, the director tells the campfire tale of how crazy old Madman Marz took and ax and gave his family forty whacks, then escaped his lynching. Then Richie (possibly the least gifted of all the kids) calls out into the dark woods and taunts the ax toting maniac. The director yells an apology but the damage has already been done. (You know how sensitive those psychotic ax murderers can be.) Marz takes his ax and slaughters as many people as the running time allows. Great cheesy ‘80s gore effects include ax attacks, throat slashings and a decapitation via a pick-up truck hood. AKA THE LEGEND LIVES.

MAUSOLEUM (1983)

D. Michael Dugan W. Robert Madero

Scream Queen Bobbie Bresee plays a woman possessed by a demon (one of those family curse deals) and goes about in an un-social manner, snuffing her friends and loved ones. Flick attained cult status, due mostly to the fact that Bresee kept her breasts bare through most of the running time. (They’re on screen so much I would have thought they would have each deserved an end credit.) The gore and monster effects are abundant, courtesy John Buechler. Also worth noting is the incredible performance of La Wanda Page as the jive talking, fast walking maid who splits the horror scene with the war cry of “Good goobely-woobely!” when the spooks attack. Dumb drive-in movie fun. With Marjoe Gortner.

MORTUARY (1983)

D/W Howard Avedis

Lovely Christine Parson has suffered horrible nightmares since the “accidental” death of her father. Soon, though, it becomes apparent she is the target of a deranged stalker. Classic ‘80s stabfest with lots of teenage recreation (sex, drugs and roller skating), red herrings and gory killings. Wild Bill Paxton does an awesome impression of Tony Perkins from PSYCHO, as he twitches and giggles uncontrollably in the part of the local mortician’s son. With Christopher George, Lynda Day George, Mary McDonough and David Wallace. I suspect this was one of the many films that inspired the ‘90s slasher hit SCREAM. (The killer’s costume and motivation for the bloodbath are nearly identical.)

THE MUMMY (1999)

D/W Stephen Sommers

Outstanding effects filled adventure/horror story is basically Indiana Jones Vs. The Mummy. Brenden Fraser, Rachel Weisz and John Hannah jump, smash, crash, burn, beat, blast, bash, blaze and explode through every mummy movie cliché known to man, and boy, is it one wild ride. The desert sands transform into a living manifestation of the titular creeper, hieroglyphics come to life and do battle Ray Harryhausen-style and scores of scarab beetles reduce men into bones in the blink of an eye. Arnold Vosloo is great as the prince returned to resurrect his true love and avenge his death by way of the ten sacred plagues. Great fun.

MOSQUITO (1994)

D. Gary Jones W. Steve Hodge, Tome Chaney & Gary Jones

Bizarro nature run amuck flick features eight foot long skeeters sucking humans dry in a matter of seconds. Lots of over the top gore and wacky humor make this a monster movie winner. (Nifty mosquito monsters, too.) With Gunner Hansen.

THE MUTILATOR (1984)

D/W Buddy Cooper

A bunch of mindless college students head to the beach to close up Ed Jr.’s father’s fishing condo for the season. What they don’t know is it’s all a set-up so Big Ed can snuff out Ed Jr. for accidentally killing his mother years before in a freak accident. Let’s be honest. The slasher flicks of the ‘80s are not remembered for their logical and skillfully constructed plot lines. They’re remembered for spilling buckets of the red stuff and exposing tons of teenage flesh. THE MUTILATOR provides plenty of both. Executed by make-up great Mark Shostrom, these teens fall by frog gig to throat, battle ax to the head, giant fishing hook to the genitalia and outboard motor to the chest. The ending is silly but fun and proves once and for all that you can never keep a determined psychopath down. (Even after you’ve smashed him in half with your car!) AKA FALL BREAK